There are various models of addiction and the dominant model is the disease one.
While most of the population associates disease with the physical body, many addicts have a wider view. All the factors in the previous post point to a lack of being at ease (or dis-ease) in his environment – and in particular in the family. This lack of being at ease is, I believe, a significant causative factor in addiction.
Putting people at their ease, in other words, ensuring that they feel welcomed and invited, and thereafter having a no-pressure at-ease relationship is (I believe anyway) a very good first step in working through trauma that they might be carrying. That is not to say that problems they have will progress speedily towards resolution, but it is a very good start.
One of the reasons for the slowness is the existence of the rigid armour that I described already. Someone who suffers from addiction almost always feels unsafe. On first encounter, the armour being worn is fairly thick. People whose armour is thick need a lot of time and space – but particularly time – one of our root foundations. This needs to be understood by those who are helping them.
While the armour will come down with a welcoming, open non-judgmental invitation which promotes an at-ease atmosphere, it will go up very quickly if the at-ease relationship is seen as a short-term ploy to get someone to open up but will not be sustained when no discernable progress is being made.
The good enough parent, as the responsible one, will always try to reduce tension and take time to allow at-ease relationships to grow naturally. In such an environment children will thrive. If addiction is dis-ease, this is how dis can be taken out of it!
Being at ease in family relationships where love, intimacy and respect for rights, and where emotions are expressed healthily boosts children’s immune systems and benefits every organ in the body.
The opposite, of course, is that trauma in families is a causative factor in physical disease, perhaps being accident prone, adopting an unhealthy lifestyle and, as we discussed above, drinking or taking drugs to dull the pain.
Being at ease fosters togetherness and inclusion, and is the antidote to that most debilitating of human conditions – isolation.