Psychotherapists and psychologists will be familiar with the term resonance [1] – another term used in physics, particularly when studying the nature of sound and light waves.
If (what we will call) a resonant field exists between a therapist and client both will feel connected. (I attempt to display this pictorially below). We cannot see this field of course – it is a bit like a magnetic field. And it is different to meeting someone for coffee or in a pub, where people, while they may be paying attention, may also be, psychologically and emotionally, in a different zone.
So how will we describe resonance?
In the world of physics it is best experienced by blowing into the top of a bottle at a suitable angle and when the sound waves resonate at a particular frequency a sound of a certain pitch will be heard. If we put water in the bottle (thereby reducing the amount of space) a sound of a higher pitch will be heard. Blowing into a larger bottle will produce a sound of lower pitch.
Try it – it is good fun! (For best results the top of the bottle would need to be relatively narrow – no wider than a circle we make with our lips). What happens is that the air vibrates inside the bottle and those vibrations in the air cause our eardrum to vibrate at a particular frequency and that is how we actually hear the sound.
The sound from all musical wind instruments, (in particular the traditional organ, like one in an old church, but also flutes, tin whistles etc.) is based on the phenomenon of resonance. In stringed instruments the strings (not air, as in an organ) resonate, though, of course, the movement of the strings causes the air to vibrate (which in turn causes our eardrum to vibrate as I said above).
Resonance is also connected to harmony in music, in that the particular notes [doh, me, soh, doh, (or in the key of C; the notes C, E, G, C)] harmonise with each other. We all, intuitively, know when we listen to sounds that are discordant that it is not music, as music, by definition, is harmonious.
Discordance, or disharmony, sounds unpleasant, and, like the crooked picture, can even be a bit annoying, even if we do not possess a musical ear.
Resonance is linked to symmetry in that it is a matching, mirroring or moving in sympathy phenomenon. Symmetry (usually experienced visually, in space) and resonance (usually experienced aurally or in time) are, in our consciousness, linked to beauty and elegance. (This is important as it links symmetry and resonance to our root foundations of which consciousness is one).
As a musician resonance is very evident to me. I greatly appreciate the beauty and articulation of Irish sean nós singing, the calls to prayer of the Islamic faith, and what is known as plain chant.
However, I believe that it’s the drums (or the beat) that make us want to listen to music over and over again. I believe that this is because the beat of music somehow resonates with our heartbeat – that high impact-low noticeability organ that beats away inside us, unseen and (mostly) unheard, keeping us alive.
In many aboriginal cultures, rhythm is a very important element of their musical tradition and I have read that it is part of the connection that the heart makes with the earth, which is considered by such cultures to have rhythm also – as it does.
Getting back to the resonant field between helper and person in distress, I find the best way to envisage it is to imagine a kind of an oval three-dimensional shape – like an elongated egg or rugby ball – within which the energy flowing between the two people is contained. (Here I am using a symbol to imagine the phenomenon of energy transfer).
(Remember I was saying that helping involves transfer of energy from the good enough helper to the person in distress)?
In the optimum situation, the energy is focused at both the apexes – the narrow ends – and, if you can imagine, contained within the oval. The transfer can be considered to be akin to a flow experience where both the helper and the person in distress are almost oblivious to what happens outside the resonant field.
This can also happen, of course, in a situation of intense debate between two people – or a row – where they are so caught up in the debate that they are oblivious to the outside world.
It is a kind of dissociation – we mentioned this in the Chapter on Trauma and Related Topics. But in this case, (where there is a nurturing and trusting relationship) it is a positive kind of dissociation.
I believe that the likelihood of this resonance occurring is optimised where there is symmetry in the relationship, as described above, between the helper and person in distress.
[1] John Rowan has written at length about this in his interesting book The Reality Game – A Guide to Humanistic Counselling and Psychotherapy