3.4.8 Trauma And Addiction

I’m now coming towards the end of what may have been a difficult-to-read Chapter – but I believe an important one.

I cannot finish the Chapter without mentioning the link that I believe exists between trauma and addiction.  In addition to, personally, having an intuitive sense of the link, leading edge research has pointed this way also.

Now I’m aware that the term addict is a label which is pejorative, and that some modern writing disfavours its use. I am using the term to describe an individual who misuses mood-altering substances (or engages in habits) to the point that his misuse is (or the habits are, or become) a serious problem both for himself and those he lives with – and often, society at large. The substances are (obviously) drink and drugs; the habits could be work, sex, gambling, eating etc.

And I’m not at all using the the term to negatively label people who are struggling or have struggled with such matters.

There is a saying that attention is the first addiction.  It is what a baby, toddler and then child will want more than anything – and she will distort her reality to ensure she gets it.

That is to say, if positive attention is not forthcoming, she will endure negative attention. Sometimes the negative attention brings very unpleasant experiences that are painful and even traumatic.  These experiences can be physical, emotional, psychological, mental or sexual, or all of them together.

Given that attention is the first addiction, we might propose that it is not necessarily a bad thing in itself.  Perhaps it is a developmental phase – that is, we are all addicts until the attention need is satisfied. 

Just a thought….

Working within the prison environment I am acutely aware of the strong link between traumatic experiences in childhood (adverse childhood experiences – ACE’s – as they are called nowadays) and the incidence of trauma in adults, very often manifest in different forms of addiction.

When I say acutely aware I mean that I have known many young teenagers at early stages of addiction, and have, sadly, witnessed it progressing to harmful stages up to death.

I can sometimes estimate the stage (or level) by the extent by which I can reason with an addict.

Family members, usually but not always parents, stop reasoning and simply lay down the law with a full-blown addict.  In many cases, I have known this to be expulsion from the family home – a drastic move that signifies that parents are at the very end of their tether, are desperate and have given up hope.  The addict might feel that he needs compassion not punishment – but compassion might not be to the fore in family members’ minds at that time.

One of the hallmarks of addiction is constant uncertainty and its companion, chaos within the family, where members just don’t know what is going to happen next. I believe that there is a link between this (families learning to adapt to chaos and seeing it as normal), and inter-generational transmission of addiction. (In the next post I will discuss this again).

Most practitioners are all for positive affirmation and motivation, harm reduction etc. but the reality of addiction and all that it brings in a family means that family members are, almost always, angry, and in addition to being angry are worn to a thread worrying about the addict, a family member that they love.

Members of families (like all of us in society) expect our children (if we are parents) or our siblings (if we are children) to mature as they grow – but an addict who is misusing drugs and alcohol does not seem to develop the cognitive boundary that is necessary for growth. That is, having enough emotional stability to think when under pressure, to cop-on, or, to put it in a way most of us understand, learn from mistakes. (In a previous post I proposed some reasons as to why people struggle to do this).

Like children in school whose learning is hindered because of some constant worry, the adult addict finds it very hard to separate body from mind and his needs are driven mostly by bodily self-gratification.

Some people, mostly young, go a bit wild, and under the influence of peers or drink/drugs or both, commit crime, are easily caught, spend a while in prison, and on release settle down and never get involved in criminality again.

However, those who spend most of their teens and twenties going in and out of detention centres and then prisons are almost always misusers of drugs and alcohol, or compulsive gamblers, or have some other addiction – or neurosis or obsession akin to addiction.

While they know that they are getting into trouble because of their addiction, they often don’t link it to the fact that they may have had, at some point in their lives, traumatic experiences within or outside their families and no opportunity to heal in real time as they grew. (Their reality may be linked to having an idealised view of childhood that I mentioned previously).

Almost always, an addict will consider herself to be a bad person who doesn’t deserve any better than what she has – i.e. a chaotic life of addiction.  Chaos and uncertainty may have been familiar within her family. While at a head level many know that they are using drink and drugs to ease pain – they usually do not have a bodily sense of it.

The reason that I like to get away from fault (and blame) is that I believe that much trauma is connected with unexpected and unexplained loss.  It is propagated unconsciously through generations – so it is difficult to address.  The loss could be death of a loved one who is an important family member, loss of childhood, loss due to imprisonment of a member, loss of identity, loss of personal safety or sexual integrity, or, simply, continually feeling misunderstood or invisible.

What about addiction and the root foundations? Since they are central to growth for all humans (universal) they obviously apply to those who misuse alcohol and drugs too. In my experience, growth is certainly optimised if the practitioner has had direct experience of addiction herself – and grown through it. You can’t kid a kidder as is said!

It is imperative that the person in distress (and, addicts are almost always in distress) thinks that support offered is relevant and supportive – as distinct from irrelevant and punitive.

I believe that there are some populations where ongoing, repeated incidence of trauma is more prevalent than others.  Families who have the characteristics that we associate with our Focus Group fall into that category.

This is no-one’s fault – but it is a reality that we need to acknowledge – and then design our responses around that reality.

The fact that large numbers of children who grow up in environments where there are such incidences turn out well is irrelevant.

And; do they really turn out well?

Many adult children who had a parent who was an addict abhor drink and drugs, and may be high achievers, compulsive carers, even, perhaps, obsessive entertainers, etc. But they may suffer from high levels of stress and unconsciously pass on addictive tendencies indirectly through the generations, and are mystified when addiction manifests in their own family.

We dealt with attachment at length above.  When parents have been born into families where love, respect and intimacy were kept at a distance, there is a possibility that the messages that they pass on about love and intimacy will not be nurturing – indeed they may be harmful.

Love may be very conditional, and intimacy may be either fraught with danger or inconsistent – or non-existent.  Respect may be what you give someone who is stronger, or a Guard, but respecting children might not be high priority.  There might be little empathy for the child who is acting out, or falling behind, or totally lost in a world that is changing too fast for him to process the changes.

The long-term effects of such experiences lead to a person not being at ease with himself in the world.

In the next post I will expand on this theme.

Here are some other factors that may be worthy of consideration:

~ Rather than recognising and celebrating gifts they may be viewed as problems to be eradicated quickly.

~ Rather than a child learning to trust, constant worrying and fretting means that he learns to be worried about pleasing the other which then becomes a pattern that he brings into his adult life.

~ Rather than celebrating difference and seeing him as equal to others, he is continually compared to his friends, cousins, siblings etc. and may be parented in a different – usually less tolerant way.

And in such situations, from the practitioner point of view, it can be difficult to notice change – as the pace of change can be very slow.

There are various models of addiction and the dominant model is the disease one. 

While most of the population associates disease with the physical body, many addicts have a wider view.  All the factors in the previous post point to a lack of being at ease (or dis-ease) in his environment – and in particular in the family.  This lack of being at ease is, I believe, a significant causative factor in addiction.

Putting people at their ease, in other words, ensuring that they feel welcomed and invited, and thereafter having a no-pressure at-ease relationship is (I believe anyway) a very good first step in working through trauma that they might be carrying.  That is not to say that problems they have will progress speedily towards resolution, but it is a very good start.

One of the reasons for the slowness is the existence of the rigid armour that I described already.  Someone who suffers from addiction almost always feels unsafe.  On first encounter, the armour being worn is fairly thick. People whose armour is thick need a lot of time and space – but particularly time – one of our root foundations. This needs to be understood by those who are helping them.

While the armour will come down with a welcoming, open non-judgmental invitation which promotes an at-ease atmosphere, it will go up very quickly if the at-ease relationship is seen as a short-term ploy to get someone to open up but will not be sustained when no discernable progress is being made.

The good enough parent, as the responsible one, will always try to reduce tension and take time to allow at-ease relationships to grow naturally.  In such an environment children will thrive. If addiction is dis-ease, this is how dis can be taken out of it!

Being at ease in family relationships where love, intimacy and respect for rights, and where emotions are expressed healthily boosts children’s immune systems and benefits every organ in the body.

The opposite, of course, is that trauma in families is a causative factor in physical disease, perhaps being accident prone, adopting an unhealthy lifestyle and, as we discussed above, drinking or taking drugs to dull the pain.

Being at ease fosters togetherness and inclusion, and is the antidote to that most debilitating of human conditions – isolation.

It is obvious from the initial post in this Sub-Chapter that I believe that there is a link between addiction – as we know it – and suffering and/or trauma.

That is not to apportion blame or fault in families on one or more individuals. There are complex dynamics at play in every family as I have tried to describe here.

Getting away from our Focus Group – and having read the Chapter on Power and Control in Society, there is a lot of evidence to conclude that trauma is fairly prevalent in the world in general.  In fact, if denial is the result of addiction, and addiction results from trauma, we can say that there is a definite link.

We suggested that there might be similarities between the behaviour of some politicians and addiction already.  Politicians are selected by us to rule over us; why do the vast majority of us all over the world behave as if all is well when it obviously isn’t? 

I believe that a lot of progress can be made if we realise that addiction is a response to, and/or escape from acute suffering, and that coercion, bribery and/or punishment will have very limited success.

In fact, it will usually result in even thicker armour being put on by the sufferer to protect himself.  It would be like punishing someone for locking a door to keep themselves safe.  Continual hammering would only result in stronger locks and bolts.

Inclusion, ease of encounter, compassion, understanding and boundaries within a loving relationship has a much better chance. 

Nowadays most planners and practitioners including those within the Pillars recognise that investment in compassionate, harm-reduction approaches work better.

The last piece in this jigsaw is of course, the suffering family members.  They need as much support as the addict – in fact, for optimum outcomes, both supports need to go hand in hand.