One reason that I spent some time on integration is that, unlike other root foundations, we seem to be almost indifferent to it in our lives.
Emergence is manifest in our curiosity about doing new things, pushing our boundaries and seeking new horizons. We see identity in our pride in family and community, flags, songs, sports teams. And relationship and love are manifest – well – everywhere!
But integration? We seem far more interested in and excited by its opposite – disconnection. We might have some passing interest in a heartwarming story about people being in relationship or making up after a row. But it’s the fight, the conflict that arises from disconnect that energises, excites, attracts us and draws us in ….. again and again! (I covered this in the Sub-Chapter on Media also).
For example, I mentioned already that in the Pillars, there is often a kind of low-level conflict going on that gets in the way of good work. In fact, it often seems to be more common than cooperation.
In the days before Park-Magic I was parking my car on a busy street in Limerick city centre. Just as I was maneuvering into the space a man knocked on my window. I was certain that he was going to complain about something, that I bumped off his car and didn’t notice (or something like that), and I was preparing myself for some kind of conflict. Instead, when I opened the window, he said with a smile that he had almost one hour left on his parking disc and why wouldn’t I have it rather than it be going to waste. I thanked him for his generosity and thought no more about it until late that night when it popped into my head for some reason.
When I did think about it, it struck me that if he had criticised me, or we’d had some sort of row, I’d have been thinking about it all day, probably relating my side of events to anyone I met – and cribbing about this man who accosted me for what I thought was no reason. I wasn’t really drawn in by generosity, but I would have been by conflict!
Can you imagine a world where there would be a court sitting for people who do good – who make a connection – like the man who gave me the parking disc. I could summon him to court and the powers that be would charge him with performing a spontaneous act of kindness in public and I’d give evidence and he’d be rewarded by the State.
And, instead of complicated long drawn out peace processes after years of bloody conflict in a war zone, the conflict was avoided in the first place because society is integrated by countless little acts of generosity – resulting in a kind of upward causation of non-violent resolution of the inevitable conflict that is part of human life.
I don’t really know why we are drawn to and excited by energy-draining disconnect and conflict – particularly as a group, but also individuals, why bad news sells papers and good news doesn’t, why we are entertained by people fighting each other.
I intuit that it is due to a mixture of our need to compete to survive, and/or, perhaps some fear of being overwhelmed going back to the dawn of history. Yet another thought that I had was that it was due to upward causation (there we go again) of all the fragmentation and brokenness that is hidden in our homes. Or it could be like the trauma bond, where we keep going back to experience what we are accustomed to and described here.
Whatever it is, we appear to dwell on disconnect and conflict – sometimes for ever, but we take integration for granted, and barely give it a second thought!
Perhaps when we start dwelling on integration and give it more head-space (and heart-space) we’ll be a more contented species.