In the previous Sub-Chapter we discussed power and it is a word that is often associated with control. Indeed in another part of the blog I join the two words in the title of a Chapter.
But they are different in the sense that in order to have control I first need to have the power to exercise the control. Sometimes this power is honest and life-affirming, and I, the leader with the power, exercise control in a manner which has the mission of the organisation, or whatever I am leading, at its heart.
Other forms of exercising control are dishonest, manipulative divide and conquer, win at all costs or even bullying and arise from what I referred to as disingenuous room values.
Obviously it is the former type that we are aiming for in our work as community leaders.
(As an aside, this is equally true if we consider the organisation to be the family, and the parents are the leaders, i.e. the ones in control. The mission of the family might be to rear happy, contented children who will have the skills to deal with the ups and downs of life as well-adjusted adults, and make a positive contribution to their family, community and society at large).
What certainty and uncertainty mean to us has been explored in previous Chapters, e.g. second half of this post.
In the Chapter on Anthropology I mentioned that there is evidence to show that many thousands of years ago, when our food supplies became more certain, (by planting, harvesting and keeping cattle etc. rather than depending on hunting and gathering), we actually became more insecure.
From the point of view of being in control, I find this fascinating, and perhaps it is because when we plant, harvest, keep cattle etc. we need to plan. If we are living day-by-day hunting and gathering we don’t really have to plan that much. We can live more or less in the present – in the now, if you like.
(And, as another aside, there is a link here to what is complicated and what is complex. Farming is far more complicated than hunting and gathering, but less complex. And one way of controlling something is to make it complicated, or difficult to understand; beyond the reach of people who are not educated in the particular skills required for the task).
When we start planning, control almost always becomes necessary!
Part of the reason for this is that – depending, I suppose, on how much is at stake – we begin to experience fear. What if our plan doesn’t work out? Not only will we have lost materially (and in the case of early farmers – we may not have enough food for ourselves and our families) but also, our ego will be bruised.
Foe example I almost always get anxious before an event. I also get anxious travelling somewhere on a train or bus and it is running late. (I’m not in control; I can’t make the driver go faster). I also get anxious in a lift – another scenario where I am not in control – as I would be on a stairs.
I could go on about this a bit, giving different examples, but I want to use my anxiety before an event as an example because firstly it is linked to planning, and also I feel that this anxiety is linked to how I perceive my role as a leader.
It is particularly true if it’s an event where either I have to perform some duty (if I’m in charge of it, if I have to make a speech, give a talk etc.) or if a lot is depending on it. I can feel my need to control clicking in and this, I’m almost certain, is directly related to my ego – and how I will feel if everything doesn’t go to plan.
For leadership, anxiety about not being in control has certain implications.
It certainly raises the bar, leadership-wise, if people who are being led (the sceptical believers) feel secure. The reason for this is that they will probably be able to think for themselves, be assertive about their needs, be able to sustain good relationships with each other, want, within their own area of work, to have a leadership role themselves, and (relevant to this post) be more challenging to control.
(The word control has such negative connotations that I feel a need to say again that I am talking about control in the most positive and encouraging way).
Dysfunctional leadership control tricks like manipulation, comparing, complicating everything, using fear tactics, setting one up against the other etc. are well-nigh impossible with people who feel secure.
The control that I need to exercise (because, yes, as the responsible leader I will need to be in control) will be based on trust, relationship, collaboration, sharing power, respect, democratic decision making, integrity, and the one that is common to all of them, genuine encounter.
Allowing people the space and time to dissent – and be assertive as to why they are dissenting – is far more challenging in the fluid uncertain world of the community than the certain environment of technology. The pay-off, however, is a far richer and deeper sense of belonging and togetherness than the sterile world of the distant manipulative leader.
But we have to be up for it!