In growing from childhood to adulthood, meeting all the challenges of life including the inevitable changes that we encounter, we need a constant flow of energy that is renewed over and over again.
I described, earlier in this Chapter, how this renewal of energy happens physically; (food and drink) and spiritually; (love, nurture, inspiration etc.).
I believe that excitement is also an important source of energy and I will describe some aspects of excitement now.
Natural growth and development explains the curiosity of childhood and youth and this follows on into adulthood albeit at a more measured pace. In adulthood, the purpose of many of our life’s pursuits is to provide us with a level of excitement above the norm of our day-to-day life.
This need for excitement explains why (depending on our interests) we seek enjoyment in different activities such as sport, music, films, documentaries, art, crafts, food, sex, reading, the great outdoors, diverse forms of entertainment, (including things we are afraid of such as murder, crime etc.), hobbies, interests, amusements, all types of leisure, and if we are fortunate – our work!
I think that it is fair to say that, as adults, the needier we are – emotionally – the more difficult we find having healthy boundaries in respect of what excites us. Rather than healthy life-affirming excitement we yearn for instant gratification – seeking it out like immature children.
Consider why violence and sex are so popular in entertainment. They both give an instant hit of excitement. And what are the main items on the news every day everywhere in the world?
Over the life cycle, excitement, particularly in the realm of discovery of new things, is closely linked to growth. Some decades ago it was considered that all formal education took place in youth. However the focus on life-long learning challenges this notion, and the joy and excitement of education/learning, both informal and formal, is now available to all ages [1]. This, I believe, has been a very positive cultural change in Ireland in my lifetime.
Excitement is, in turn, closely linked to creativity, which is vital for our happiness and contentment in life. Freedom, fun, expansiveness, adventure, generosity of spirit, and outward looking attitude all enhance creativity, and creativity in turn enables and encourages further freedom, fun etc. in a positive feedback loop. And creativity is welcome in any part of our lives but is of vital importance in times of crisis.
Excitement is therefore of great importance in our discussion on supporting families affected by imprisonment.
If we are growing up in a family in the Focus Group, the joy of learning, (the fount, and sometimes origin of excitement and creativity for the vast majority of the population mentioned above) might often be thought to be okay for others but too far removed from the reality of our lives to even aspire to. [2]
The likelihood is that excitement is linked to addictive behaviours, or crisis-that-debilitates rather than creativity-that-nurtures.
I propose that this belief becomes internalised in early childhood and is reinforced over and over again to the extent that ultimately an unconscious core belief develops that in order to find excitement we need to be either waiting for the next external fix, or be in a state of crisis, or a state of high alertness waiting for crisis – a kind of between crisis hiatus.
[1]. I saw a little item on telly one night about a man aged 92 doing a Course in University. I could sense the energy he was getting from the excited way he spoke about what he was learning.
[2]. I am sure that if you work in this area you will have met parents whose ambition was that their children are not addicted, or not involved in criminality and subsequent imprisonment, rather than having the ambition that their children might get so many hundred points and go to college.