In this Sub-Chapter we will consider energy in systems.
By 2050 it is hoped that the motive power for all cars will be a battery, charged using power generated by solar radiation, wind turbines or similar.
But, traditionally, cars used the internal combustion engine, which is a system of cylinders, pistons, oils, fluids, electrics, coolants, etc. and the energy is provided by the fuel, (petrol or diesel). If one of the parts is faulty, fuel (energy) is wasted because the faulty part of the engine acts as a negative force on the system.
Of course we are not engines but for the purposes of this discussion an analogy can be drawn. If we consider our human system (like a team of workers) to be a number of individuals committed to achieving a particular goal, each, like the components of an engine, fulfilling a role that is interdependent, then, (making the assumption that we are all reasonably healthy and well fed – that is, our physical energy is taken care of), the fuel is our emotional wellness, or the level of our spiritual energy.
If we are emotionally well, the available fuel will be high quality. That is, if the majority of us are emotionally well enough [1] we will have sufficient energy to achieve our goals. We may even have some left over for innovation and creativity!
This is a great advantage in a group of businessmen, engineers, builders, doctors, etc. but is not of vital importance. That is to say, they can achieve their goals even if a number of them are emotionally unwell. Profit can still be made. Of course, profits will probably increase with high morale, but it is usually not a matter of survival or going under.
However if we are a group of family support workers in an organisation committed to supporting families in the Focus Group we need emotional wellness as much as a carpenter needs a T-square or a doctor needs a stethoscope. High morale, positive self-esteem, and its first cousin self-confidence (there is a slight difference between the two) are tools of our trade and all are of vital importance.
People who come to our organisation looking for help will intuit whether or not we have high morale, self-esteem and self-confidence, if we are emotionally well, and have high energy.
Or not!
You might remember the description of the human tendency to be care-giving as well as care-seeking from the Sub-Chapter on Attachment.
There is an old saying that ‘God gives us the burdens that we can carry’. I don’t know whether or not this is true but I do believe that people in distress give us practitioners the burdens that, they intuitively feel, we can carry.
Just like a child, who, (because his care-giving kicks in), will only give the parent the burden that she intuitively, or instinctively knows he will be able to carry [2], the person seeking help will intuitively know what a practitioner is able for and generally tailor requests, descriptions of distresses, etc. accordingly.
In some cases, where someone’s role in a family of origin may have been a caretaker one, they may begin to adopt the exact same caretaker role with the people that are employed (and being paid) to help them.
(To understand this a little better, it might be interesting to think back to our own childhood and try and remember things that we didn’t tell our parents because we – often unconsciously, but sometimes in full conscious awareness – knew they would respond in a way that didn’t invite further discussion).
I believe that the emotional wellness of our group; or how much we can carry, or hold is intimately connected to how responsibility is viewed, both individually and collectively.
The principal reason for this is that our tendency towards responsibility [3] (as I stated in previous Chapters) is an existential given.
This will be further explored in the next post.
[1]. This includes being emotionally well enough to support, and not be judgmental of, a member of the group that is emotionally unwell from time to time.
[2]. Children are always giving parents their burdens to carry. Good enough parenting involves handing back many of the burdens so that the children learn age-appropriate responsibility. This is easier said than done, particularly when the child displays behaviour that is worrying the parent, triggering the parent’s rescue mode.
[3]. When I say that humans have a tendency towards responsibility I mean that, consciously or unconsciously, (as we grow) it is something that we yearn for, feel satisfied about, and gives meaning to our lives.