I am now going to apply principles of fractal geometry and self-similarity to the developing child.
To do this, I will get back to our humble tree, which is probably the example that will describe it best. In this, I am using symbolism to describe something that requires us to use our imagination a little!
If we consider, for example, influences on a child that is growing, we can analogise a main trunk as being a child’s own sense of self, the thick branches as being influences of parents and/or main carers, then siblings, then the smaller branches as being (depending on their proximity and/or influence) grandparents, school friends, teachers, cousins, then with less influence (twigs) are the community, town or city, the country, and so on.
Each element has an influence on the child but the more influential ones are the main trunk and thicker branches, that is, the interplay between himself and his immediate family. In this, his edge of growth will be, in addition to his individual personality and character, the emotional experiences that impact on him every minute of every day in his home – from parents, siblings and extended family.
His centre of growth (nurturing his sense of self, identity, history, and feeling of whether or not firstly he is wanted, and secondly that the world is a safe place) will be the stability/security of good enough parental relationship(s), consistency in nurture, the secure base of his family, and the level of ease-of-being-in-the-world that there is in his family.
The self-similarity occurs in the relationships.
One way of identifying the differences between the edge and the centre might be to imagine the edges as constantly changing (all the little things that happen, ups and downs, incidents of hurt and joy etc. etc.) and the centre to be generally non-changing and steady (consistent familial relationships of parents/carers and extended family).
Similar dynamics will exist (and will have existed for a long time) within the systems that surround the child though they will not be exactly the same. These dynamics provide a feedback loop that reinforces the behavioural patterns of the child over time.
The child’s personality and/or identity, values etc. are all continually reinforced, and ultimately sedimented (that is, laid down like sediment in a slow-flowing river) by virtually endless cycles of re-entry (feedback) provided by influential others.
Indeed, the individual beauty of each child can be thought to result from the imperfections in his/her parents’ relationships, and also the imperfections in relationships of people of influence in his life as he grows and tries to make sense of the world.
Like the tree, a keen and experienced observer might make a good guess at how a child will develop if they have knowledge of extended family dynamics, general culture, school ethos etc. but the observer will not be able to predict exactly what will happen.
To get a handle on this it might be interesting to do a little exercise.
Try and think back on your childhood. Think of the impact of the general relationship of your parents or main carer(s) on you – and what you learned about life from their relationship. Much of this will be a felt sense, probably unspoken, but very powerful and influential nonetheless.
Now try and guess how your grandparents’ relationship (if you can remember them – or if they were known to you) had on your parents and then on you. (If you cannot remember any grandparents try and think of senior influential people in your parents’ or main carer(s)’ lives). Now try and identify patterns in the relationships (for example how one reacted if another was a certain way, if there was bad news, good news, stress etc.) that endured over the life course and influenced you. Also, the relationships with extended family and those with major influences like church, school etc.
Think of the learning from major relationship patterns as the centre of your growth.
Now try and remember some little incidents that happened – good and bad. Try and recall what emotional reaction your parent(s) or carer(s), and perhaps siblings had. Did they differ in different environments, i.e. if ye were on holidays, if ye were rushing out in the morning, if ye were relaxing in the evening, if there had been a recent bereavement, if ye heard good news, if it was a birthday or Christmas, if ye had visitors? Did they depend on what mood your parent/carer was in?
Consider the learning from these incidents to be the edge of your growth.
Fractals as they appear in nature imply the irregularity and change that accompanies evolution and growth. (We came across something like this already when we discussed the robustness of self-organisation in a previous post).
This theory of the development of the personality of a child has resonances in the theories of social mirroring [1].
[1]. Briefly described, Social Mirror Theory (which dates from the late 19th Century) proposes that what we display in public and what we experience in private are inseparably bound together. We use our thoughts to draw out meaning in what we experience but the process of drawing out meaning is not complete until we have expressed it in a way that is understood by others.