Peaks and Troughs
Continuing with our discussion on symmetry; have a look at the graphs below. Once again, I don’t want anyone who had bad experiences in school (or anywhere else) with maths to be put off. The graphs are quite simple, really.
Both graphs attempt to represent how Mood changes over Time.
Time is horizontal going from left to right. I took an arbitrary period of 20 weeks. Mood is vertical. On the vertical line (left hand side) 20 is feeling absolutely fantastic, 10 is normal, and 0 is feeling very low indeed.
Graph One
In Graph One, you will notice that as time passes (that’s the horizontal line in the middle – at 10 – going left to right), mood goes from feeling absolutely fantastic, on top of the world , nothing is impossible (as it rises towards 20) to feeling very low, totally depressed, hopeless, and despairing that anything will ever change (as it dips towards 0).
There may be a short period of relative calm in the middle of the two peaks – but usually if I am in deep distress and I am suffering from depression, anxiety, fear etc. it is fairly short. The incidences of feeling high and feeling low are usually – generally – symmetric along the calm position. That is, the higher I feel at one point, the lower I’ll feel at another. The steepness of the rise to the peak and the fall to the trough are also exaggerated – this reflects the reality of what we commonly call mood swings. The return to calm is, on the other hand, usually more gradual.
Another point to be made here is that often at the peak (high point), I can forget that I have been at a low point, and/or that there may be a low point following. And similarly, when feeling totally depressed and despairing, I might feel that it will go on for ever.
Graph Two
Look now at Graph Two.
As healing and integration – you might remember that integration is one of our root foundations – takes place, (i.e. growth), the high and low reduce in size and intensity, still along the axis of calm, but now a lot more manageable – and, from my point of view if I am experiencing them, a lot easier to handle.
And during the inevitable emotional swings of life, I feel a sense of personal power, that is, I am in control of my emotions rather than my emotions being in control of me.
Of course, the graphs are very robotic and typically our mood swings are not as regular as the waves depicted. They are merely a representation of how there is a symmetry to our mood as well as other aspects of our lives.
Being totally calm i.e. (flat-lining along the time line – 10 in the above graphs – for ever) would be boring and unexciting – and impossible for us!
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In the symmetrical zig-zag of emotional experience, I have generally observed that if we are more content and generally satisfied with life we have lower peaks and troughs of happiness and unhappiness.
That doesn’t mean that we don’t have peak experiences, (where, perhaps, we may temporarily dissociate) but it means that if and when we do, we will savour them, enjoy them to the full, (perhaps be mindful of them) but will also be able to put them in perspective and know that they will not be there for ever.
We may also, following a very distressing encounter or incident, experience a deep trough – and indeed could dissociate also. We will also know however that the trough will not last for ever, and that, however difficult it will be now, calmness will eventually return.
The Plateau Of Growth
Akin to the above, I have already proposed that, in our emotional growth, we reach a plateau, or a kind of equilibrium – described in the second half of this post – where the force that’s either driving, or longing for change is counter-balanced by the fears that the change throws up. This is another kind of symmetry in growth.
Sometimes, if we are helpers we think that people are stuck and imagine that, perhaps, a dramatic therapeutic cathartic intervention will shift the stuckness and somehow propel the person through the fear that is, viewed from our – helping perspective – holding them back, causing them to be stuck.
But when it becomes evident that the disadvantages of growth match the gains to be made there is too much at risk for that person, and it is incumbent on us to acknowledge and accept this, have unconditional positive regard, and not impose our own values in respect of expected growth on the situation.