I said at the start of the website that I would, from time to time, dip into the world of physics – if and only if it is relevant.
Now physicists and electrical/electronic engineers will be familiar with the phenomenon of maximum power transfer. What this means, in electronics, is that if the impedance [1] of a source circuit (that is, the circuit where the energy is coming from) matches the impedance of the load circuit, (that is, the circuit where the energy is used up), the amount of power that will be transferred will be maximised. (For the technically curious this link might be of interest)!
Now, a bit like the absolute zero example in this post in the Chapter on Universal Theory of Change – this seemed to be too much of an analogy with my observations of human behaviour to be ignored.
There is a full Chapter on Energy following, but just for now I propose that children and adults growing up in families in our Focus Group – who are (and have been, for most of their lives) in deep distress – have, generally, a low level of energy.
Much of the energy that they do have is used up dealing with anxiety, fear, endless problem solving, anger (often) suppressed, and the ongoing suffering that is the result of them not being at ease with themselves and their environment.
On the other hand, the good enough helper has (or needs to have) higher levels of energy available. In helping others, some of this energy is transferred from the helper to the person in distress.
As an example, this is evident in the parent-child relationship – where, when a child is hurt, tired, anxious, fearful etc. and needs emotional healing, she has her parent to psychologically (and often physically) lean on for support. While there is usually a significant difference in respect of power, knowledge, size etc. between parent and small child, far more healing energy is transferred if the relationship has democracy, equality and empathy built in from the start as I mentioned here.
These qualities are the ones that contribute to symmetry in the relationship, because there is a matching. The feeling of equality; or having an equal voice, that someone understands me and is on my wavelength as the saying goes, is a lot more important for my healing than whether or not someone knows more than me. (I will return to this in the Chapter on Cultural Matching in Section Five where it also has relevance).
Also the experience of having an equal voice means that the knowledge flow is not one way. We practitioners are open to learning from the person in distress, in particular what works for them, as well as having some knowledge and wisdom of our own. (I also mentioned two-way knowledge flow in the Sub-Chapter on Person Centred Therapy).
This post, where I liken the transfer of energy in human relationships with that of an electronic circuit (as well as the post where I mentioned absolute zero) form part of the reason why I entitle the blog The Natural World Of Child Protection.
[1]. Just like different people have different resistance to emotional currents passing through them, different substances have different resistance to electrical current going through them. For example, rubber has very high resistance, whereas copper has very low resistance. This is why the holders of pliers are housed in a rubber sleeve – to prevent us getting a shock, whereas electricity flows easily through copper so we use it to make electric wires. Impedance, as described above, can be considered to be a changing resistance that occurs in an electrical circuit.