Modelling is important in family support. Our need to belong leads us to imitate (or model our behaviour on) significant others as we project what we unconsciously want for ourselves onto them.
Many studies have been done (some by Desmond Morris) on how and why primates learn by observation, i.e. we imitate, emulate, and then model.
I propose that imitation, or mimicry, which is fundamental to human learning, fulfils a need for symmetry in our lives in that we, unconsciously, move towards being an image of, (i.e. tend towards) the other we admire, are influenced by, or feel close to.
Now I suggest you do an exercise in projection. But before you do the exercise it might be useful to know what projection is.
There are different forms of projection in psychology, which you can read about if interested. Projection can involve an attempt by us to assign to another the traits we do not like in ourselves. Let us say we are always losing our temper. Instead of taking responsibility for our anger we blame the other person for making us angry.
Or, in another form, let us say someone is angry with us. Instead of reflecting on our behaviour which might lead to the other person being angry wIth us we try and let ourselves off the hook by saying that we are reminding the other of someone else in their life (e.g. their parent) that they have unresolved anger towards. (That is, we decide that they are projecting).
The exercise in the next post involves a slightly different type of projection to either of the above.
It is is designed to spark your thoughts, imagination, self-awareness etc. What I mean by self-awareness is knowledge of what traits, characteristics, or qualities that others have that you wish to have.
It is also symmetry in real time because if you had the exact same traits the relationship between you and the other person would be symmetrical.
That is, every trait that you identify in the other would be mirrored by an equivalent trait in you – a fairly unlikely scenario I admit!