Now I’d like to discuss an interesting aspect of symmetry with respect to human behaviour – that of mimicking.
I remember, many years ago, on an old black-and-white TV, watching a man named Desmond Morris on the Late Late Show. He was being interviewed about his books The Naked Ape and People Watching. Even though I was quite young at the time I found him to be a fascinating and entertaining scientist (he is actually a zoologist) as he pointed out how we, unconsciously, mimic each other’s behaviour.
Since then, neuroscience [1] (the scientific study of the brain along with the body’s nervous system) has discovered the existence of mirror neurons. An understanding of mirror neurons offers a chemical explanation of how we can read another person’s mind, how we empathise, feel the distress of someone close to us, or, indeed, how we determine whether someone is laughing with us or laughing at us.
Research shows that mirror neurons fire (that is, send a signal to make a specific and appropriate connection in the brain or body through the nervous system) both when someone actually does something and when someone watches another person doing the same thing. The neural mirroring is the mechanism by which our behaviour and emotions (and even our intentions) can be identified even when we try to hide them with words.
Our intuition informs us that we can do this, and it is interesting that science is now proving what has been intuitively known since the dawn of time. Well, in Asia anyway; much of Eastern philosophical thought is based on the interconnectedness and interdependence of people – something that the Western World seems to be re-learning in more recent times – please see the post on yin and yang!
(I will return to the subject of rediscovery of ancient wisdom in a later Chapter).
Of course, it is also scientific proof of Morris’ observations, he was obviously right – we do mimic – all the time.
Symmetry in human behaviour led me to think about how, in families affected by addiction, children take on defined roles, e.g. hero, clown, scapegoat etc. (We came across this in the Chapter on Systems Theory).
I have observed that the more debilitated the family is from addiction the stronger and more pronounced the role is. (For example, very irresponsible – the so-called black sheep – may be mirrored by very responsible – the hero – or very funny – the clown – might be mirrored by very serious – the carer.
And considering compassion, in human encounters in general, in order to offer compassion we have be able to receive compassion ourselves. Compassion is quite an intimate thing – and the impact of compassion is higher in an atmosphere of trust.
And when supporting very hurt people, while compassion is almost always appreciated immediately, it might take a little while for it to impact fully.
[1]. Further reading on neuroscience is widely available for anyone interested. A good, readable, book is The Developing Mind; How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are by Dan Siegel. Another interesting book on its applications for working with children is The Science of Parenting by Margot Sutherland. The above are just two of many.