What I described in the Introduction to this Chapter is what usually happens in a family. Mostly, the reason that a parent will kiss a 7-year-old’s cut knee better is because of the love that the parent has for the child. He is drawn into the care-giving role without thinking about it.
Now what do we usually do in a healing type workplace?
That is, an agency, whether voluntary, private, or statutory, whose responsibility is to support people who are in distress?
There are many workplaces where people who come in feel a sense of connection – I am not denying that – and it assists greatly in the healing.
But in far too many healing environments this may not be the case. If someone comes in emotionally vulnerable or hurt, the first thing that often happens is that they are assessed.
This usually involves answering a lot of questions, the vast majority of which do little to alleviate the hurt. The one-way knowledge flow paradigm mentioned in a previous Chapter is generally adhered to in this process.
The belief that someone has to be formally assessed, with a practitioner asking questions and the person in distress answering them, before any decision is made as to what the practitioner might do, or the agency does, is so common that it is almost beyond our ken to think that there could be another way.