I’m now coming towards the end of what may have been a difficult-to-read Chapter – but I believe an important one.
I cannot finish the Chapter without mentioning the link that I believe exists between trauma and addiction. In addition to, personally, having an intuitive sense of the link, leading edge research has pointed this way also.
Now I’m aware that the term addict is a label which is pejorative, and that some modern writing disfavours its use. I am using the term to describe an individual who misuses mood-altering substances (or engages in habits) to the point that his misuse is (or the habits are, or become) a serious problem both for himself and those he lives with – and often, society at large. The substances are (obviously) drink and drugs; the habits could be work, sex, gambling, eating etc.
And I’m not at all using the the term to negatively label people who are struggling or have struggled with such matters.
There is a saying that attention is the first addiction. It is what a baby, toddler and then child will want more than anything – and she will distort her reality to ensure she gets it.
That is to say, if positive attention is not forthcoming, she will endure negative attention. Sometimes the negative attention brings very unpleasant experiences that are painful and even traumatic. These experiences can be physical, emotional, psychological, mental or sexual, or all of them together.
Given that attention is the first addiction, we might propose that it is not necessarily a bad thing in itself. Perhaps it is a developmental phase – that is, we are all addicts until the attention need is satisfied.
Just a thought….
Working within the prison environment I am acutely aware of the strong link between traumatic experiences in childhood (adverse childhood experiences – ACE’s – as they are called nowadays) and the incidence of trauma in adults, very often manifest in different forms of addiction.
When I say acutely aware I mean that I have known many young teenagers at early stages of addiction, and have, sadly, witnessed it progressing to harmful stages up to death.
I can sometimes estimate the stage (or level) by the extent by which I can reason with an addict.
Family members, usually but not always parents, stop reasoning and simply lay down the law with a full-blown addict. In many cases, I have known this to be expulsion from the family home – a drastic move that signifies that parents are at the very end of their tether, are desperate and have given up hope. The addict might feel that he needs compassion not punishment – but compassion might not be to the fore in family members’ minds at that time.
One of the hallmarks of addiction is constant uncertainty and its companion, chaos within the family, where members just don’t know what is going to happen next. I believe that there is a link between this (families learning to adapt to chaos and seeing it as normal), and inter-generational transmission of addiction. (In the next post I will discuss this again).
Most practitioners are all for positive affirmation and motivation, harm reduction etc. but the reality of addiction and all that it brings in a family means that family members are, almost always, angry, and in addition to being angry are worn to a thread worrying about the addict, a family member that they love.
Members of families (like all of us in society) expect our children (if we are parents) or our siblings (if we are children) to mature as they grow – but an addict who is misusing drugs and alcohol does not seem to develop the cognitive boundary that is necessary for growth. That is, having enough emotional stability to think when under pressure, to cop-on, or, to put it in a way most of us understand, learn from mistakes. (In a previous post I proposed some reasons as to why people struggle to do this).
Like children in school whose learning is hindered because of some constant worry, the adult addict finds it very hard to separate body from mind and his needs are driven mostly by bodily self-gratification.