I have often wondered if, for example, Myles na gCopaleen had gone to a Rehabilitation Centre and, after some weeks of addiction counselling, emerged sober, temperate and clear-headed would he have continued to write great stories or would his writing have descended into mediocrity and blandness.
Or if Vincent Van Gogh had gone to a number of counselling sessions and recovered from the emotional trauma that caused him to choose suicide, would his art have ended up wishy-washy and dull.
Obviously we will never know the answer to those questions but I have always intuited that if Myles or Vincent (and others like them) had experienced wellness and emotional growth and their unique characteristics were honoured and affirmed, they would not have lost the abilities for which they became famous.
I totally accept that their work was indeed a response to their emotional upset-ness, but I also believe that they were born with the innate talents necessary to produce the work in the first place.
There exists a phenomenon that psychologists now call post traumatic growth.
This proposes that pain and trauma in early years can be harnessed so that we develop a deeper appreciation of our innate talents and in particular our spirituality and creativity. (Of course, high levels of appreciation of spirituality and creativity are also available to those who don’t suffer pain and trauma).
But if we do suffer a lot we may restrict themselves in our ambition – perhaps not considering ourselves worthy or deserving of that which many others take for granted. Seeing new possibilities and grasping them, and believing that they are attainable and deserved, is a very exciting phase of one’s life for a person who has suffered from restriction of their ambitions. And anyone who experiences it will testify to that.
Seeing the world with different eyes is different to continually seeking out new worlds! It is also far more exciting and, at least, is often within reach whereas the new world may be an illusion.
For example, we might like woodwork, or music, or cookery, but might hide the fact that we do, because – due to many decades living with the tyranny of comparison – we consider our work to be sub-standard. However, after some time, self-exploration, support etc. (and our growing appreciation of spirituality and creativity) we become free from harsh judgement of self and liberated from the critical gaze of the other. We may then stop worrying about whether or not our work is good and instead simply enjoy it. Obviously, if we enjoy doing something we’ll do it better, so in such a case the quality of our finished product may improve also.
Now, imagine if, instead of the above, we say helping others.
Many people (including myself) find it helpful to self to help others. As with woodwork, music, cookery or horse-trading, when fear is taken out of it, it becomes a little easier. (Well – I’m not sure about the horse trading).
While one of the big fears of woodwork is that it won’t be finished to a high enough standard, or with cookery we might give someone a sick tummy, one of the big fears of helping people is that we will inadvertently harm others by saying the wrong thing or giving the wrong advice etc. We can also fear that we won’t be liked if we don’t help others – particularly if we have grown up in a family where our role was the caretaker.
In respect of team, all the factors described in the post dissociation in a team can be lessened by ensuring that, in our organisation, practitioners who have chosen to work with families in the Focus Group in an open and inviting manner enjoy their work.
In fact, enjoying the work, and wanting to do it, is a resource in itself – a far, far better resource than merely having a vacancy filled by a functionary!