Another long post following. Most of the important posts seem to be a bit long – and this is one of those!
In respect of dissociation, we will call the split that can sometimes occur in people in deep distress when they are under stress or pressure (that we described already as an out of body experience) the primary split).
This may cause a secondary split within a staff team, mirroring the dissociative states of some members of the Focus Group, many of whom may have suffered trauma. In my experience this secondary splitting always comes in disguise.
Sometimes it may manifest in little irresolvable conflicts about matters that are actually more to do with power than the issue itself. The suffering of people who are looking for help is forgotten as the individual team members argue about things that may not be that important at all in the wider context. Their own trauma is triggered by the trauma which they are experiencing day-in day-out.
Another cloak of disguise that dissociation puts on is competitiveness. ‘I can do the job better than you’, or, ‘If I’m not the best I’ll lose out’ etc. etc.
The tasks of leadership, (allied to good training and supervision), in respect of secondary splitting are:
1. Being aware of the possibility of secondary splitting in a team, i.e. being attuned at all times to little nuances and changes. Mostly this happens unconsciously, but it could happen because of an incident, e.g. a person who is accessing the organisation for support criticising one team member to another team member, or favouring one team member over another, or making a spurious complaint.
2. Deciding whether or not an issue causing dispute, conflict etc. is what it is, or is secondary dissociation in disguise. (This requires knowledge, experience, and clarity of vision).
3. Being alert to competitiveness, affirming team members’ gifts and being aware of people who are not thriving because they are in the wrong box so to speak.
4. Continuous awareness-raising of the high impact-low-noticeability nature of trauma on team members. This will assist ongoing healing and integration.
Secondary trauma, and the dissociative split just described, affects the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing of all members of a team that takes on this kind of work, and – naturally enough – if nothing is done to address it, will result in characteristics that will be very damaging to the mission of the organisation that wishes to reach out to very vulnerable people.
I will describe a selection of such characteristics below, all of which lead to low morale among staff. I am sure you will have come across some of these, and indeed you may have noticed others that I have not mentioned here:
1. (First and most important one)! Leadership/management defaulting to hierarchical and punitive practices when under pressure, incorporating the rigid and disempowering values of the corporate world that I described in far more detail in Chapter on Power and Control in Section Two. (In fact, this one is the reason for many of 2 to 15 below).
2. Anger which arises (both from the work with people in distress and the natural conflict among all groups of people who work together) is expressed in an inappropriate and dishonest way, almost always in the form of passive-aggressive behaviour.
3. Fear which can arise from many different sources. For example, I might fear that my power base will be taken away, so I become territorial and defensive.
4. Complaining about what’s wrong and doing nothing about it is relevant here. Perhaps the structure of the organisation means that doing anything is pointless – and if that is the case it is very discouraging for anyone who wants to do something constructive. One of the most harmful aspects of this is seen in interpersonal relationship. That is, gossiping – being critical of others and their behaviour but not having the skills to be open about it. This often happens as staff break up into cliques.
5. Blowing things up out of all proportion i.e. making mountains out of molehills, and/or making everything a drama.
6. Being suspicious of decisions that are made – often those that involve change. And on the leadership side – bringing in change too quickly and not allowing team members to absorb the change. (This is explored later on in the blog).
7. Team members believing that a genuine mistake is an underhand plot to disadvantage them in some way, and not believing that what they are told is the truth. This is a breakdown in trust.
8. Teams will often avoid people who present with the very problems that the organisation was set up to help. This includes lack of awareness of the difference between discomfort and real danger – with danger being posited as the reason why certain people are avoided. It can also mean diverting away situations that might be challenging, or bring difficulties, in a subtle and dishonest way. (This will be dealt with in more detail in the Chapter on the Family Support Shamrock).
9. General lack of trust in one’s own judgement and autonomy, and a tendency to seek external advice (and/or pay high consultancy fees for advice) while ignoring wisdom generated within (or distrusting it because it does not come from a professional source).
10. General feeling of pessimism, fear of risk taking, and prevailing belief that the glass is half empty.
11. Intolerance of others personalities, jumping to conclusions and blaming others if things go wrong.
12. Appeasing narcissistic people (particularly the grandiose kinds) and giving them too much power – i.e. subtly (and sometimes inadvertently) enabling their grandiosity – instead of focusing on relationship.
13. Interpersonal and/or relationship issues are put on the long finger and not dealt with in real time. This can cause people to behave in a passive-aggressive manner and different forms of exclusion can result.
14. Ignoring (or failing to use) spirituality, or not being aware that things like inspiration, hope or creativity are necessary components of healing distress.
And finally, the hallmarks of poor morale in organisations that support families in distress:
15. High absenteeism among staff giving all sorts of different reasons – this is generally due to poor motivation, low level of self-efficacy, and lack of interest in the work. (Square pegs in round holes)?
16. High incidence of staff getting (genuinely) sick – due to emotional stress affecting our physical well-being.
17. High turnover of staff – due to people’s unhappiness and general discontent being ignored.
The objective of our work is to restore energy in our team. Rather than being pulled and dragged by trauma, with trauma in charge. We need to take back control and create the space for trauma to be processed.
Now 1 to 17 above will be recognised (by any of you who have knowledge of management, governance or leadership) as traits that are the result of incompetence in all three.
And indeed they are!
And the observant and/or reasonably well-informed individual will recognise all of them as traits that seem to crop up in many organisations in the competitive world of the Pillars.
But that is not really our concern.
Our concern is how to lessen their influence in organisations that support families in our Focus Group and much of this website is about that – i.e. more about the solutions than the problems.
But to not mention the problems is like ignoring the elephant in the room, and also risks not giving the solutions a context. (For example, if supervision – which can cost money – is a solution – what is the benefit of spending this money)?