Trauma is likely to be a feature in all our lives at some stage.
For most people who grow up in a good enough family and live in a democratic peaceful society it is probably a rare enough occurrence, and generally we have enough supports in our lives to work through it satisfactorily over time.
However in a family in the Focus Group, (i.e. a family that has many of the characteristics as described earlier), an infant’s or child’s exposure to trauma might be such a regular occurrence that s/he learns to live on high alert at all times – that high alert being an early warning of impending danger which, from the perspective of the infant/child, may be life-threatening in nature.
An important aspect of trauma is that it is usually buried (often in our bodies) in unconscious memory. This is because we may deal with trauma by dissociation or splitting off from the experience rendering it inaccessible to conscious memory. The trauma may have occurred at a pre-verbal stage in our lives, even pre-birth, at a time when we did not have the cognitive capacity to consciously remember it. (Dissociation is important in the context of trauma).
Also, it is worth noting that the experience of trauma differs from person to person, and, therefore, so do its effects.
What might be traumatic for me might not be as traumatic for you. And how we recover, and resolve the trauma will differ too. Some people have far more protective factors than others – and/or are more resilient [1]. Some people are better at looking for help than others. Though – it must be said – the ability and willingness to ask for help is a sign of resilience in itself.
Very often people develop strategies to hide their distress; these strategies have been built up over many years. (This probably applies a little to most people. The old joke about getting through each day managing our madness well enough so that others will not notice has a certain truth)!
[1]. Someone who is resilient is someone who can bounce back after a negative event in their lives.