Now in the context of this website, there is a very significant point about the statutory-bodies-doing-the-real-work-and-making-the-hard-decisions thinking that the professor who I mentioned in the previous post asserted.
That is, I believe that it is analogous to traditional Mammy and Daddy thinking.
In this way, Daddy, (like the statutory bodies) is always insulated from the pain, muddle, disorder and uncertainty of the day to day child-rearing. Mammy handles all this – lest it be too much for Daddy’s fragile emotions.
In the wait-till-your-father-gets-home scenario, Mammy will put up with, suffer, or tolerate all the difficult emotional messiness (as well as, of course, enjoy the intimacy and warmth) involved in rearing small children all day and then report to Daddy on his return as to who has been good and who has been bad. Daddy will then dish out appropriate rewards or punishments (but usually punishments) in a distant, detached but (ideally, anyway) fair manner.
But, Mammy does not have the final say in decision making – indeed, she is relegated to lower status in this respect – lest she be too emotional and – even – leave some bold children unpunished because of her compassion! No; all the hard decisions are left to cool, detached, Daddy.
Of course, I am exaggerating here. Nowadays – typically – parenting is far more inclusive of both the male and the female authority figures, and both make hard decisions in their own way. But the similarity to the description that the professor gave of the First Sector and the Third Sector couldn’t escape me.
When making the so-called hard decisions, statutory agencies are, generally, becoming more and more removed, and better at insulating themselves from pain, emotions, and uncertainty – and many community and voluntary organisations are following suit. These are the challenges that traditional-Daddy has actually risen to over the past few generations in family life!
I’m not sure why this is – but I have hoticed it as more and more regulation comes in, with, in parallel, formality replacing informality. If that’s the way organisations are going – and it seems to be, with the blessing of the public and civil service – then they are way off the mark when compared to the typical modern family, where (mostly) informality now prevails over formality!
As you will see when you read the Chapter on the Family Support Shamrock, creativity is inhibited by formality and the aloofness and distance that accompanies it.
And creativity, so important in healthy growth and development in the good enough family – and, I believe, so important in our work that I devote a full Chapter to it later – is generally in short supply among many organisations that support people in distress.
Much of this comes from fear.
Think about it – how can we support families and children when we are more fearful of taking a risk (creativity always involves taking a risk) and the messiness and uncertainty that goes with it, and/or getting something wrong than when we trust that things will be okay?
From the point of view of our existence, uncertainty, messiness (and pain, chaos and emotionality) are all part of our lives. If they are overwhelming they have a destructive effect on us – but in small doses they prove to us that we are alive!
A tolerable amount of pain has value in our psyche like inoculation has value in the physical body. Wise people learn this – that pain cannot be totally eliminated.
Indeed, one of the major paradoxes of humanity is that we try to eliminate pain, emotionality, uncertainty and messiness – not realising that they all have value.